A Mother’s Prayer: 5 of 30

Dear Father,

Please help us see the good in all of this. It feels so like nothing is going on, but I know that’s not true. This silence is just so loud. We want to know what he’s struggling with. We want to help, but know we can’t. Distance is just so hard.

Trusting you are working within him, is so so hard. What you have done to our oldest, is such a miracle. We want nothing less for this child, as well. 

We love him.

Kim

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A Mother’s Prayer: 4 of 30

Dear Father,

Break through the noise in our son’s head. Let him hear your wisdom. Please muddle up any messages that don’t come from you. Be his clarity.

Please save him from himself. Protect him as he matures from any real physical harm, but wreck him emotionally so that he may come to his senses.

This is so hard, as his parents, watching him struggle and shutting us out. If there is anything we have done or could have done to help him through this, please convict us to make these changes within ourselves now. Show us how we can best help him.

We love him.

Kim

A Mother’s Prayer: 3 of 30

Dear Heavenly Father,

Not a day goes by that we don’t think or talk about him. We don’t know if he realizes how much of a hole this family has without him. We are not complete. We look forward to a day when we can be together again.

Until that day, Lord, please work within him. Help him get this figured out. Please help him distinguish what is true within all the lies that has boggled his mind. Help him separate all that out.

We ask that you place a shield around him to protect him from what is not from you. That he might be guarded away from influences that could take him further away from us while he’s in this vulnerable state. 

But ultimately we know you know what is best for him. So we pray your teachings will pierce this stronghold he has placed within himself. If something is to get through, let it be you.

We love him.

Kim

A Mother’s Prayer: 2 of 30

Dear Father,

Please walk with our son. Teach him the path he must go to break free from what holds him back from being the young man you designed him to be.

Protect his heart as you do it. May it not turn cold or hard. Help him feel love from those who want to love him.

We love him.

Kim

A Mother’s Prayer: 1 of 30

Father I want to ask for forgiveness, grace and mercy. This prayer should have been done a long long time ago. I’m asking you, begging you to please look after and follow our second son, who has drifted away from us. We desperately would like to be reconciled with him.

Since we no longer have a position to act as a guide to him, we have found ourselves completely dependant on you to play that role. 

We know how much you love him. We know you would look after him even if we had not prayed for you to do so, so I’m asking if you could give us peace and mercy. Our hearts ache for him. We worry about him. We pray one day we will be comforted with him.

We love him.

In your Son’s holy name, amen.

Protect

When Justice starts to complain about all his aches and pains, when he starts searching for sleep, I start to worry that he’s detoxing from something; that he’s self medicating. I become more anxious as he grows more desperate and agitated.

He retires to his room and I am left wondering, is he ok? Is he healing himself? Or is the noise in his head about to hold him captive all night long, and leave him exhausted by morning, with his mom forcing him to get up, get ready and get out the door for school?

I complain he doesn’t get a job so that he can drive and then I imagine, what if he did and then would I really want him to have access to a car when he’s struggling with his demons?

That’s not something I can take back, easily. 

Maybe God is still protecting us.

I am, once again, reminded that he is not normal. He may never be normal. I may never be ready for him to grow up. The risks just keep getting greater. I would rather have him, not normal, than to lose him forever.

Is this getting easier for him? Is he more in control? I know he has more control of his monsters, but is he controlling them? Or is he letting them roam, until they are out of control?

God, please continue to protect me from the unknown.

Please continue to work inside of him, to tame his demons. Empower him to take control. He is your son, and the spirit of Christ lives in him. Build his faith in you. Give him strength when he is weak. May his inner monsters shutter at your name.

Stay with us, both. Always. Protect and shield.

Amen.