Day 7, Again

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for being everywhere tonight. You are in the little things, as well as the big things. Thank you for your strength. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your love.

It brings me such comfort, knowing and seeing how you spent the day with my son. He’s learning, he’s growing and he’s experiencing you.

Lord, I praise you. Please help me to remember your faithfulness when we enter our next storm. May you always be present. May you always be seen.

Thank you for your grace and mercy, tonight.

Kim

Day 6, Again

Dear God,

This summer feels long, yet it has just begun. I am already growing tired. Please give me strength.

Please help us sift through the bs. God, help us to be real, and help me to have the strength to see him. I don’t want him to pretend, because he doesn’t think I can handle it. Oh, but Lord, I really really can’t handle it without your help.

I just don’t want us wasting time, for the sake of me. Bring us healing. Bring him healing.

I pray that you continue to talk to him. Tomorrow with be tough. He will need you. Please be there.

With love,

Kim

 

Day 5, Again

Dear Lord,

Thank you for a day of rest. Thank you for a day we could walk with heavier feet and not be afraid of the egg shells cracking.

It’s so much easier when you have our days planned for us.

We don’t mind if you bring us something daily. It helps us see you. And it’s fine because the people who do life with us, everyday, seldom know of the impact they have on us. Lord, please let this be a summer of purifying. Take the bad influences from our lives, and not only bring us friends of good influence, but bring them often.

Let my son see you, through them. And bring them so that I might learn how to better help my son.

Love you with all my heart,

Kim

Day 4, Again

Father of my son,

Lord, thank you loving my son, even more than I love him. Sometimes this is the only comfort I have.

I love hearing him tell me he knows you work in his life. I love hearing that he has cried out to you.

As I sit and listen to him, I pray to you that you would give me the strength to accept what he is telling me. I tell you I’m afraid to hear what he has to say.  And then, from nowhere, I hear you in my son’s voice. He tells me he has asked you to help him, and he knows that is what is happening.

Lord, I’ve been praying this same prayer for a long time. I have asked others to help me pray for the same thing. But hearing him tell me he is praying too, eases my soul.

You are a Father of promises. I call on them often. I hold them deep within me. I often scream them when I feel alone. Please let them give my son the comfort they give me.

Father, God, my prayer tonight is that he can hear you in me, as I have heard you in him. Please continue to give me the strength to know my son and help me be brave enough to sit in his darkness, with him. I don’t want him to be alone.

Your scared daughter,

Kim

Day 3, Again

You know what, Lord?

I really don’t think I have the strength to endure every life lesson my children have to learn. How can I possibly? This is going to kill me, every.single.time. How in heck do you do it?

I am so sorry for breaking your heart as I screw up, everyday.

Please teach me how you do it. Or send me someone who does it well, so I might learn.

Your daughter,

Kim

Day 2, Again

Father,

Thank you for being there with me as I try to guide my son. Thank you for your words. Thank you for your peace. Thank you for pushing me to be the mom you want me to be. And thank you for intervening, when I screw it up.

Lord, I know I need you everyday. We need you everyday. Please let us see and feel you, everyday. It feels like a scab that has been pulled off and we’re both raw, and hurting. Afraid to ask tough questions and afraid to give answers, I’m sure.

It is unbelievable how incredibly powerful, Trust, is and yet, how incredibly frail. Please help us get there again, even though trust wasn’t even broken.

He was most truthful, and honest and trusting, than he has ever been. Yet, that was only because he was confessing how untrustworthy he really was.

I see his struggle, God. I can’t even imagine his pain. Please bring him mercy.

I can’t express how much I love this child, how much pain I feel when he hurts. Please Lord, mercy. Give us mercy.

With all the love I have,

Kim

My Favorite Day!

I have a message for all my friends!

All my friends who are struggling right now…

To my friends who don’t know how they are going to pay rent in a couple of days,

To my friends who have a loved one in the hospital,

To my friends who have lost a child,

To my friends who have lost their freedom,

To my friends who are stuck in an abusive relationship,

To my friends who struggle with their mental or physical health,

To my friends who can’t find a job,

To my friends who are moving from sofa to sofa,

To my friends who live in fear of the unknown…

TODAY IS GOOD FRIDAY!

It is my most favorite day!!

Today, the most important man who ever lived, died over 2000 years ago for me (and for you)!

No one else has ever done this for me. No one has ever sacrificed their life for me. No one has ever loved me THIS much. Even before I knew I was a sinner. Even before I knew I needed a savior…

I lived without hope. I found myself in a life I never expected or wanted. Not only did I feel trapped, I felt undeserving of anything else. I felt dirty. I felt the weight of the world. I felt responsible for every wrong doing. I had no worth. I was lost.

And before I even felt all this…a man took this all from me! He saved me! He gave me hope!

He LOVED me!!!

He loves you too, and I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet!

HE’S COMING BACK! I swear to you, I know this to be true.

And because he comes back, everything he said was true. He is the son of God (Matthew 3:17). He is the way, the truth, and the light. No one can come to the Father except through him (John 14:6).

So, although I don’t know how any of you are going to get through the day, I do know that you are loved (John 3:16). And that God sees you (Proverbs 15:3). He made you for his glory (Isaiah 43:7). He cherishes you (Psalm 139:13-16). He has a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11). He will never leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He is for you (Deuteronomy 31:6).

You will get through this! And not only will you survive this, you will become better, wiser and stronger. You are becoming your best you!

Today, Jesus died, and in three days he will be back. If he’s not, then call me crazy. But if he does, then fall to your knees and praise him. (I think I stole that from someone. Whoever it is, he’s much smarter than me. You should listen, cause he’s not wrong.)

God is good.

All the time.

I love you.

Better yet, JESUS LOVES YOU!