Today I have learned the average American earns about two million dollars over their lifetime. TWO MILLION DOLLARS! Where is it? I am practically living paycheck to paycheck. 

I have not been good or faithful. 

I am ashamed of how much debt Mike and I have accrued. I am ashamed we have let things become our god and debt in the form of monthly payments, lords over us. We have become slaves to money, to banks, to creditors, to things of this world. 

For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. – 1 Timothy 6:10

 

I have been convicted to break free from the lie that everyone will have to owe something to someone, that debt is normal, acceptable and ok, and we can never get away with paying off school loans and a mortgage.

Our income is a gift from God, intended for others, to do his good works, not for just ourselves. I would look down on people who had lots of money and bought expensive things. I JUDGE THEM FOR BEING SELFISH AND COULDN’T POSSIBLY A BE FOLLOWER OF CHRIST! 

But look at me. I’m worse! God blessed me and I became a slave to it! And what’s worse, I sold my soul to it. I wasn’t forced. I made the wrong choice.

We can’t be good or faithful servants if we are not able to share the gifts God gave to us to share. I am disgusted with myself when I think of the amount of debt that keeps us from doing God’s plan. I feel we’ve let him down and he expected more from us. 

I am grateful for these scales that have fallen from my eyes and learning the truth. We still have time to fix this. I am angry at how easily I let myself wander from God’s path, but no more. The chains are broken TONIGHT! God will provide or he won’t, but never again will we buy something we don’t have the cash to do so. I’m taking my soul back and am placing it back into the hands of my Savior.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Forgive me for my errors. I can’t say enough how sorry I am. I was so so wrong to believe because I had no money at the end of the month, I was poor. You have given me more riches than I deserve. I ask that you be with Mike and I as we climb our way out of this hole we’ve dug, and restore what we’ve mismanaged. Thank you God. THANK YOU for caring enough for us to show us how much we need you.

Your extremely undeserving and most grateful daughter.