Last night, I dropped off four sleeping mats for the homeless. Of those four, I may have made one.
Tomorrow I’m dropping off, if I was to guess, around 200 crocheted hats to a shelter in Flagstaff. I’ve made none of those.
I went to pick up another bag of odds and ends, containing blankets and scarves to take as well, and I confided in my friend I feel disheartened.
I look at all I’ve collected and what I’ve done, or haven’t, and it makes me wonder what the heck I’ve been doing all year.
She reminded me of the project I’ve been working on for the Deaf/Blind community but I told her I didn’t think I should have turned my back on one community to help another.
I just don’t feel like I’m making a difference. I don’t see anyone changing. My goal is not just to help others, but to get others to help too. If I was successful at doing that, I could have moved on to another community without leaving one behind.
She hugged me, then encouraged me not to believe the lie I wasn’t making a difference.
This morning, as I was playing over all the emotions I felt last night, I was reminded of Job. He didn’t get to see what was going on behind his faithfulness, either.
It didn’t mean that his actions went unnoticed.
I need to remember this.