Tag: Believe

Faith in God, Who Gives Crazy Ideas

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. – Matthew 5:9

“So, I got this crazy idea”, is usually how most of my projects have started out. They are usually followed up by, “Oh, you can’t do that Kim. It won’t work.” which then of course, THEY DO!

So this, I’ve learned has become the formula for when God is asking me to do something.

It starts off as an idea I think is absolutely not possible, and not only can’t see how it’s going to work; I don’t want to be the one doing it.

“No. No. No. God, what are you going to make me do? ” He pushes me outside my comfort zone, every. single. time. It sucks.

I do not want to host an ice cream social for the community. I do not want to knock on all my neighbors doors, to invite them to a block party. There is no possible way I can collect enough plastic bags and then make sleeping mats for the homeless, that would be enough to serve in any significant way.

All of which are done in the spirit of loving God and loving others (Mark 12:30-31), being a light to the world (Matthew 5:14), and making disciples (Matthew 28:13).

But it’s all about trust, right? Having faith.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. – James 1:22

Oh my gosh, Lord, what are you going to make me do now?

He doesn’t always give me the whole plan of how I’m going to pull it off, but he usually always gives me the excitement that comes with it before, rather than after. I see his vision. And I get so excited!

Then, in my excitement, I announce my crazy idea, and time and time again, it is followed up by people telling me it won’t work, or I can’t pull it off, or I’m crazy.

Oh, I know!

They’re not being mean, or unsupportive, they just know me really well. And they’re right! I can’t do any of these crazy ideas. But with God, I KNOW, I can (Matthew 19:26).

He gave me a vision. I can’t see how I will get there, but I can see what it looks like in the end. And I usually have the best time ever!

So, with that…

I GOT A CRAZY IDEA!

How do I know? Well, I’m terrified, for one, and I’ve already heard, “It’s a great idea, Kim. I just don’t know how it’s gonna work. People aren’t going to want to come. Most will not be ready for it.”

I can’t tell you how I got this idea. I can’t really remember when it started to grow, but I know with all my heart it’s something worthy and honoring to God. I can’t, not try.

When I went back to college to earn my degree in Christian Studies, people asked what I was going to do after I graduated. I told them really I had no idea. I was ok with it, because I knew God had a plan but if he had revealed it to me at the time, it would have completely freak me out.

We’ll guess what? I think this may be it!
We are The Peacemakers.

It’s working with moms who have had a child or children with an ex-partner who remarried, and now has another woman who is involved with her child’s life; the step-mom.

Yes, I’m aware that divorce is not biblical. But it is, however something very prevalent in today’s Christian churches. So why instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water, and not talking about this population of parents, as if it is taboo; why not see how we can bring them together in unity, that is God honoring, and show the world the power of Christ’s forgiveness, compassion and love, for the sake of their children?

The goal is to be able to put aside difference, FOR THE CHILDREN. It’s not to become best friends. It’s not to restart a relationship with an ex. But it is to be able to come together to co-parent so their children continue to feel safe, secure and loved by both sets of parents.

Many times, most of the time, probably all of the time, the step mom /ex wife relationship is sabotaged from the beginning because of one thing…the ex.

They may be completely lovely people but already don’t like each other. There is a barrier that immediately goes up. They are the enemy.

They don’t even know each other, and yet they share two very important things that should bring them together, instead of pull them apart; the children, and a relationship with their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

They may not go to the same church, but they may go to a church somewhere. So why then, can’t they work through this, if they claim to be followers of Christ?

It is almost an “ok” thing, to not have a relationship or even to have a bad relationship with an ex and ex’ wife. It is understood. It accepted. It is never talked about at church. It is never addressed, but yet ex-wives and step moms go to church every single week.

For whatever reason, a traditional single family unit is no longer a possibility, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try for the next best thing.

Therefore, I propose we come together for the best interest of the children.

The children, who by the way, are God’s children. Why would he not want this?

So with that, I’ve met with my pastor, and I’ve been interviewing friends; some of which who share children, and some who have counseled moms who do. And I’ve been collecting a lot of great ideas as to what THIS could actually look like.

My next step is to hit my Bible. I know, everything I need to know is already in there. My job is to drive in and find it.

I’m the lucky one. I get a double blessing. Not only in the end, I will be brining people closer to Christ, in the process I get to be closer to him as well! How exciting is that!

However, like any of my crazy ideas, I go into it with a lot of fear and hesitation.

After one of my interviews, I walked to my car and thought to myself, “Why are you doing this? It’s not going to work.”

What if both moms are not Christian? What if one or both are too wounded to focus on the children?  What if the step mom is the “other” woman?

But as quickly as my doubts came, I heard a voice inside me say, “They said the same thing about Girls’ Club”.

And like THAT, my fear went away.

This is going to happen. I don’t know how this is  going to happen, I don’t know when this is going to happen, but I know this is  going to happen.

I have faith in a God who gives crazy ideas, so that the rest of the world can watch and wonder, what is that? 

All for his glory, we will show the world.

And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. – Acts 2:44

I Will Rejoice

My son has left, and my heart is heavy.

It’s been two days now.

I haven’t written, because I haven’t known what to say.

I still don’t.

So I will cling to my faith.

Know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. – Hebrews 4:18a

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. – Matthew 6:33

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6

Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. Psalms 118:5

And I will start rejoicing…
This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24

Because I know God is at work within him.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of His good pleasure. – Philippians 2:13

My son is lost, but he will be found.
For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. – Luke 15:24

I will start rejoicing. And one day my heart won’t be quite so heavy.

Understanding My Faith

When I became a Christian I was just a child. I didn’t exactly understand how everything worked but I didn’t need to either. I knew who God was. I talked to him often. I felt his presence. I had the faith of a child.

But as I got older, I started to have questions. My faith didn’t fade but I really wanted to understand. I have to be completely honest with you… I was a little scared if I actually knew how this Christian thing worked, I’d find out it was all a load of crap, and that I was deceived by my parents for all these years.

I am happy to announce, I STILL HAVE FAITH! AND MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!

Number one scary question to me that redeemed my faith…

If God is the same yesterday, today and always, why was God so vengeful in the Old Testament, but so full of love in the New Testament?

In the Old Testament, God was transforming a rogue nation. The first one, he just wiped them all out with the flood. They had forgotten who he was. Their Creator. They no longer reached out to him. There was no longer a relationship.

He tried again. This time he helped them out by setting up ground rules, the Ten Commandments. They were ways to stay in relationship with him because he loved them. But they were tough. They had never lived this way before.

What I could remember of the Old Testament was God killing a lot of people. Just like that, BOOM, they were gone. It didn’t seem to matter who they were. Their enemy or themselves, God, for whatever reason would get pissed, and dead they would be. Why was he so grumpy?

Old Testament, old covenant, old contact, old deal

Well after doing a little reading. Ok, a lot of reading. Like several, several times reading. What I saw happening was anyone who could potentially corrupt his people, or sway them from his teachings were eliminated. There was always a reason.

For example, any other nation that tried to harm them, because duh, he couldn’t let them take over and undo his relationship with a new culture and standards to live by.

Interracial marriages between his people because they could be persuaded to follow their spouses’ culture and serve their god.

When they say, God is a jealous God, they weren’t lying. He would take out anyone or anything that got between him and his love for his people.

Even his own people who didn’t take him seriously. Like the entire generation who he set free from Egypt. Ok, he didn’t exactly kill them, but he didn’t let his people enter the Promise Land until every one of them was dead.

Then there was the guy who was struck dead because he reached out to catch the Ark as it was falling to the ground. That poor guy. But it was a rule. You don’t go around touching God’s stuff all willy nilly. He is Holy.

New Testament, new covenant, new contract, new deal

Now we’ve got lots of people walking around shouting out rules, like even making some new ones up. Condemning everyone. Basically telling everyone, you’re not worthy of God’s time, but you better get right with him or he’ll smite you down.

They weren’t entirely wrong. We’re not worthy, but God fixed that. He sent Jesus. Someone who is perfect. Someone who is sinless and pure. Someone who is Holy.

Everything, everything God did was out of love, yesterday, today and always.

God came into the world himself as a man. Understand, he came as a man, but he is still God. Just as I am a daughter, and with the covenant I made with my husband, I became a wife too.

And took on everyone’s sin, every bad thing you’ve done and every bad thing that was done to you, upon him. He was beaten as a criminal worthy of death, and yet had done nothing wrong. The ultimate sacrifice.

And if he had died, and did not rise, I would say he was just a man. BUT HE ROSE! Truly, he is God. And everything he preached could now be counted as truth.

But oh! It gets better! Jesus physically rose into heaven, but guess what? HE’S STILL HERE! He’s living inside of us all who have welcomed him into our lives.

This was some super tough stuff for me as a new baby Christian to understand, so let me break it down like it was to me. I am a daughter, when I married, I became a wife but still a daughter. With the arrival of my first son, I also became a mother. I am three; daughter, wife, and mother, yet I am one. Kim

In the beginning God created the heavens where he resides. He spoke through prophets to his people. Later he came in the form of a man, Jesus, to speak to his people. Today, he speaks to his people through the Holy Spirit that resides in us!

God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, three yet is one.

I think that’s just about the most AMAZING thing EVER!

God who was once only out here (reaching my hand out, open palm, circling the sky), is now in here (open palm, laying flat against my heart)!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

God loves. He loves us!

I am thrilled to say I am a Christian. But not because I knew no other way. But because I had questions, and God has never been afraid of any of my questions.

So I have a question for you…

Would you like to have our God living inside of you too?

I can help! You could say I’m pretty close to the big guy. Comment, or email me.

Why I Don’t Believe

In our front yard we have snowmen, and polar bears. We have penguins and snow hills. We have Snoopy and SpongeBob and R2-D2. We have packages, and presents and lights. But one thing you won’t see in our front yard is Santa Claus.

I don’t believe in Santa.

Years ago, I was a single parent…well, for years. And you know what Santa brought me those years?

He brought expectations that I couldn’t meet. He reminded me of how little I had for my kids. He made me feel bad about myself. He took my Christmas joy.

But one year, in the midst of all those years, a friend had invited me to her church. I came and sat in the back all by myself and cried. I cried because every single message was written specifically for me.

There were tears of guilt. Tears of sorrow. Tears of happiness. Tears of relief. And tears of an overwhelming Father’s love for His daughter.

After the year of some healing tears, I decided I wanted to be in my Father’s presence whenever I could. If the church was doing something, I was there. I took classes on finance, on healing and outreach.

I also joined a life group. A life group is a small group of people who meet outside of the church and try to figure this whole Bible reading and Jesus living, thing together.

You get pretty close. You get to know their families, their struggles, their concerns, their life.

They started to get to know mine.

Within weeks they had put my family on the church’s Christmas Angel tree. I didn’t know it until someone from the office called me to get my kids’ Christmas list, that I could never fill. I cried.

She also told me about a bank, who every year selects families to adopt and have a Christmas party for. She asked if it was okay for the bank to sponsor my family. I cried.

A woman from the bank called me to give me details about the party as well as ask questions about how many kids I had and their ages and sizes. I cried.

She asked me if I was okay. I told her I wasn’t.

I told her I hated being on this side. I told her there was a time if you needed money you talked to me. If you needed a ride, you talked to me. If you needed a place to stay, you talked to me. I hated being so needy. I was ashamed of who I had become.

She was quiet for a second. And then she said, “I’m sure some of those tears are tears of gratefulness.”

I shut my mouth.

I had never been so God Smacked in all my life. Just shut up, Kim. Do not let one more word leave your mouth that does not show your gratitude.

It was in this moment that I realized that I was completely nothing without my Savior. Here I was, a poor girl with kids coming out of her ears, with barely a place to live and a car that constantly broke down, holding onto her pride with two hands, refusing to let go, when this woman, not knowingly told me to just.let.go.

Let go. You will be caught. You will be safe. You will be loved. Just let go.

I cried.

We had an amazing Christmas that year. We had never had a year like it and has never had one like it since. The kids had every one of their Christmas wishes met and then more.

And the bank? Well I thought, considering it was a pretty big bank, we would be one of several families attending the party. Oh, no. No, we weren’t. WE WERE THE ONLY FAMILY AT THE PARTY.

I can’t express how overwhelmingly blessed we felt that Christmas.

There was no Santa that year. There was only God and his angels who dressed and looked like many members of my church and that bank.

No, I don’t believe in Santa. I believe in someone much, much higher.

I believe in someone who doesn’t give me what I want, but what I need. And I’ve learned, what I need is so much better than what I think I want.

I believe in an almighty God who never stopped pursuing me even though time and time again, I turned my back on Him, and tried to play God myself.

I believe. I believe in a Heavenly Father who loves no matter how much money I have, and no matter if I’ve been naughty or nice.

That Christmas so many years ago, Jesus took away my shame and he showed me grace. He showed a poor girl with kids coming out of her ears, with barely a place to live and a car that constantly broke down, that she was most beautiful, when she was most broken.

So Him! I believe in Him!