Since my husband subscribes to my blog, but seldom reads it, I feel pretty confident about talking about him today.
In all honesty though, it would save him from hearing the same stories over and over again. When I start to repeat myself, which I do often, he could always say, “I already read it”.
So since this is something I would never bring up to him anyway, this is perfect!
I want to talk about my husband’s and daughter’s relationship. He is her step-dad. Even though he’s known her since she was two, she’s always known he’s not her biological dad.
I remember when we were dating she would be so jealous of Smart. She would ask if she could call him dad too. We would never let her. It wasn’t appropriate, but boy was she excited for that first Father’s Day we had after we were married.
I was quite surprised how she reacted to it. It was obviously more important to her than I thought. When I asked her about it she said, “It’s my FIRST Father’s Day!”
Well, I guess she was right. I never thought about it, but she’d had no contact with her bio dad, unlike her older brothers who saw their dad three weekends a month.
So having a dad was a big deal.
Over the years I’ve watched the two interact. And I’m not proud to say this, but I just thought…
– Wow, hon. You’re not a very good little girl’s dad. You’re a great little boy’s dad, but being a little girl’s dad? Not so much.
He’s just rough with her. Not physically, but with his words. I mean he can be rough with anyone, so it’s not like he’s singling her out. But I just felt she’s a girl, and he’s being pretty harsh.
But recently, I’ve noticed something happening. She’s eleven now, almost twelve. And boy is she sharp as a whip when someone tries to tear her down with their words. She doesn’t let them hurt her easily. She didn’t get that from me. Not me at all.
Now, the flip side to this, is she is ruthlessly sarcastic and annoyingly sassy. Both qualities that suck for her parents, but will serve her well as an adult.
Then it hit me. He’s an AWESOME little girl’s dad!
I mean, look what he’s taught her. How to stand up for herself. How not to be so sensitive to what people say. How not to take things so seriously.
He loves her and gives her just as much crap as he gives the boys. Who better to talk crap to my little girl, than someone who does it with love?
The world is going to do it to her, and it doesn’t give a rip about her. He’s not trying to hurt her. He’s making her tough. He’s giving her skills to protect herself.
Now, I don’t think he’s conscious of what he’s doing. He’s just a natural dad with a wife who tries really REALLY hard to stay out of his way.
This weekend we had his family over for Gamer’s birthday, and as I watched and listened to my sister-in-laws talk and interact I thought, I bet no one pushes them around. And their daughters included.
They ALL learned this thing, I don’t know what it’s called, from their dad.
It’s what dads teach when their kids have to live and breathe in a world that’s not always so soft and gentle and sensitive with it’s words or how it treats people.
What an awesome family to be apart of. What an awesome quality to pass down to my daughter.
So recently, he tells me he’s going to run across the street to talk to the neighbor.
Our daughter tells him, “I’d walk, if I was you.”
I looked at my husband, “You know she gets that from YOU.” 🙂
I’m so glad she does.