Dear Heavenly Father,
I cannot remember the last time I slept so soundly. I have been physically ill for weeks. I’ve been exhausted, not being able to shut my mind off. Constantly worrying about my son. Wondering if I’m doing everything I should, is there more?
And then, last night, I felt all of it was taken away from me. The last thing I remember, was texting my son, good night, I love you. I don’t remember falling asleep. I didn’t get up once to go to the bathroom. I don’t remember tossing and turning.
And then this morning, I woke to the softness of the light comforter but heavy sense of peace. Lord, I will trust you. Even if I don’t understand, I will trust you and let go of this fear that I have so strongly embraced, that it has been crushed and has now seeps into my pores.
I release it, knowing you have embraced my son so strongly that you seep into his soul. If I have to choose between the two, I chose you, every time.
Please continue to grow inside of us. Please help us both understand the transformation. Please help us understand each other.
I know that he is young, but please help him understand that I’m not doubting him, but myself. Help him understand that I am weak and I struggle too.
Thank you, for your rest. Thank you for your peace. Please hold your hand over me today as I try to push it off.
With all my love,