Day 13, Again

Dear Heavenly Father,

I cannot remember the last time I slept so soundly. I have been physically I’ll for weeks. I’ve been exhausted, not being able to shut my mind off. Constantly worrying about my son. Wondering if I’m doing everything I should, is there more?

And then, last night, I felt all of it was taken away from me. The last thing I remember, was texting my son, good night, I love you. I don’t remember falling asleep. I didn’t get up once to go to the bathroom. I don’t remember tossing and turning.

And then this morning, I woke to the softness of the light comforter but heavy sense of peace. Lord, I will trust you. Even if I don’t understand, I will trust you and let go of this fear that I have so strongly embraced, that it has been crushed and has now seeps into my pores.

I release it, knowing you have embraced my son so strongly that you seep into his soul. If I have to choose between the two, I chose you, every time.

Please continue to grow inside of us. Please help us both understand the transformation. Please help us understand each other.

I know that he is young, but please help him understand that I’m not doubting him, but myself. Help him understand that I am weak and I struggle too.

Thank you, for your rest. Thank you for your peace. Please hold your hand over me today as I try to push it off.

With all my love,

Kim

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