Learning to Listen to Who I Am

For the greater part of 46 years, I’ve not listened to what my body was trying to tell me.

Actually, who am I trying to kid. What I did was more than neglect, it was abuse.

Not only did I ignore my body, I told it what I wanted it to do and how. I reminded it constantly how disappointed I was with it. And I pushed it beyond what it could possibly do.

I had my first of four babies, when I was 27.

From the moment of conception, my body has never been the same. The first signs of pregnancy to me, were tender breast tissue. Oh my gosh, I was the last of my girlfriend’s to have babies, and NO ONE told me about this!

Before I became pregnant I never used to sweat. Since then, I have not stopped.

Some things never went back to how it was before I became pregnant. Even when I tried my hardest to make it so, it never did.

It couldn’t. Not only was I not that person anymore; that wasn’t my body anymore.

It doesn’t have to be a tragedy. I love being a mom. I would never trade me in for the person I was before if it meant giving up my children.

But instead of constantly grieving for that body. I need to start accepting and enjoying the one I have now, more.

This is my new reality and I need to start living that way…

until it changes again.