I was recently talking to Justice about anger and I was totally shocked when he told me Mike was the only man he knew, who didn’t lose his temper.
I told him, I know. I’m grateful when I do something stupid, he usually just laughs at me; not get mad.
This is something new to me. In my past relationships, if I had done something innocent, yet, stupid, I was berated, scolded, and verbally attacked. I was made to feel incapable, inferior, and cannot be trusted to do even small things like grocery shopping, cleaning or even to dress myself. I couldn’t do anything that didn’t bring criticism and name calling.
But this post is not about me.
It’s about my husband.
I’m so proud of him. I told him what Justice had to say about him. He was quiet for a minute and then he said, “He didn’t know me before.”
You see, I met my husband in CR. Celebrate Recovery is very much like a 12-step group, similar to AA, but God is our higher power.
He was there dealing with his anger. I was there understanding what codependency was.
We were a couple set up for disaster. We shouldn’t have worked out. And trust me, we were not encouraged.
And without Jesus, we wouldn’t have.
There is power in the name of Jesus. He has the ability to change lives. And he did.
I didn’t know him before, but I saw him in the midst of his change.
I saw him meeting with his sponsor. I saw him studying the Bible with his Forum of Four. I saw him helping, and serving. I saw his compassion. I saw his humility.
I saw him transform.
I’m so grateful for the man Jesus designed. I know he wasn’t designed for me. He was designed for Him. But he blesses me. And he blesses my children too.
Justice gets to see, he doesn’t have to be angry. He gets to see, he doesn’t have to lose his temper. He gets to see, what he knows, doesn’t have to be.
I no longer live believing a lie that I’m stupid. I no longer live in fear of being emotionally pummeled.
I now have a better understanding how much Jesus loves his church because I have an understanding how much my husband loves me.
We experience grace. We experience love. We experience the power of Jesus.
And now when I’ve done something so, so stupid like losing my glasses on top of my head, or leaving the the chicken out on the counter all night, or turning the knob the wrong way on the stove, I cover my face with my hands and I say, “I’m sorry, Honey. I think I’m losing my mind.”, he chuckles as he holds me and whispers, “I know.”