Understanding My Faith

When I became a Christian I was just a child. I didn’t exactly understand how everything worked but I didn’t need to either. I knew who God was. I talked to him often. I felt his presence. I had the faith of a child.

But as I got older, I started to have questions. My faith didn’t fade but I really wanted to understand. I have to be completely honest with you… I was a little scared if I actually knew how this Christian thing worked, I’d find out it was all a load of crap, and that I was deceived by my parents for all these years.


Number one scary question to me that redeemed my faith…

If God is the same yesterday, today and always, why was God so vengeful in the Old Testament, but so full of love in the New Testament?

In the Old Testament, God was transforming a rogue nation. The first one, he just wiped them all out with the flood. They had forgotten who he was. Their Creator. They no longer reached out to him. There was no longer a relationship.

He tried again. This time he helped them out by setting up ground rules, the Ten Commandments. They were ways to stay in relationship with him because he loved them. But they were tough. They had never lived this way before.

What I could remember of the Old Testament was God killing a lot of people. Just like that, BOOM, they were gone. It didn’t seem to matter who they were. Their enemy or themselves, God, for whatever reason would get pissed, and dead they would be. Why was he so grumpy?

Old Testament, old covenant, old contact, old deal

Well after doing a little reading. Ok, a lot of reading. Like several, several times reading. What I saw happening was anyone who could potentially corrupt his people, or sway them from his teachings were eliminated. There was always a reason.

For example, any other nation that tried to harm them, because duh, he couldn’t let them take over and undo his relationship with a new culture and standards to live by.

Interracial marriages between his people because they could be persuaded to follow their spouses’ culture and serve their god.

When they say, God is a jealous God, they weren’t lying. He would take out anyone or anything that got between him and his love for his people.

Even his own people who didn’t take him seriously. Like the entire generation who he set free from Egypt. Ok, he didn’t exactly kill them, but he didn’t let his people enter the Promise Land until every one of them was dead.

Then there was the guy who was struck dead because he reached out to catch the Ark as it was falling to the ground. That poor guy. But it was a rule. You don’t go around touching God’s stuff all willy nilly. He is Holy.

New Testament, new covenant, new contract, new deal

Now we’ve got lots of people walking around shouting out rules, like even making some new ones up. Condemning everyone. Basically telling everyone, you’re not worthy of God’s time, but you better get right with him or he’ll smite you down.

They weren’t entirely wrong. We’re not worthy, but God fixed that. He sent Jesus. Someone who is perfect. Someone who is sinless and pure. Someone who is Holy.

Everything, everything God did was out of love, yesterday, today and always.

God came into the world himself as a man. Understand, he came as a man, but he is still God. Just as I am a daughter, and with the covenant I made with my husband, I became a wife too.

And took on everyone’s sin, every bad thing you’ve done and every bad thing that was done to you, upon him. He was beaten as a criminal worthy of death, and yet had done nothing wrong. The ultimate sacrifice.

And if he had died, and did not rise, I would say he was just a man. BUT HE ROSE! Truly, he is God. And everything he preached could now be counted as truth.

But oh! It gets better! Jesus physically rose into heaven, but guess what? HE’S STILL HERE! He’s living inside of us all who have welcomed him into our lives.

This was some super tough stuff for me as a new baby Christian to understand, so let me break it down like it was to me. I am a daughter, when I married, I became a wife but still a daughter. With the arrival of my first son, I also became a mother. I am three; daughter, wife, and mother, yet I am one. Kim

In the beginning God created the heavens where he resides. He spoke through prophets to his people. Later he came in the form of a man, Jesus, to speak to his people. Today, he speaks to his people through the Holy Spirit that resides in us!

God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, three yet is one.

I think that’s just about the most AMAZING thing EVER!

God who was once only out here (reaching my hand out, open palm, circling the sky), is now in here (open palm, laying flat against my heart)!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

God loves. He loves us!

I am thrilled to say I am a Christian. But not because I knew no other way. But because I had questions, and God has never been afraid of any of my questions.

So I have a question for you…

Would you like to have our God living inside of you too?

I can help! You could say I’m pretty close to the big guy. Comment, or email me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s