Dangling

Giving up control is a good thing, right? It means I’m trusting God, they say. Uh huh, yeah, it doesn’t feel like that. It doesn’t feel like that at all!

That, you would think, would feel good.

It feels like panic. It feels like fear. It feels like I should be grasping onto something and digging my nails in as my feet dangle below me.

But this is what it feels like when I give up control and then try to determine how things are going to go. I look into the future and what do I see? Well disaster, of course.

And without God, that’s what would happen. But I have Him, so according to the Bible, things should go a little better than that, right?

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. – Psalm 9:10

Those don’t sound too bad. Not too bad at all!

So, when I look into my future and I feel fear of giving up control, clearly I’m not seeing God there.

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” – Exodus 14:14

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. – Philippians 3:12

Oh and I so desperately want Him there for my son. I’d much rather want Him there, than me! Where has having control over the situation ever got me?

Yeah, exactly, grasping onto something and digging my nails in as my feet dangle below me. Why do I keep finding myself here?

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