They say it takes a village. I love that concept and totally believe it works. But what if your village is hostile?
Our family is blended.
It’s funny, it’s such a simple label for a very complicated reality.
I have four kiddos. Three boys who have one father, who has since remarried. I also have a daughter who’s father is not allowed to be apart of her life.
This alone is complicated since the boys have a second home that comes with two sets of parents, a couple sets of step siblings and a few sets of grandparents.
My daughter just has me, and the extended family that comes with me.
Now Mike has a couple of kiddos so they also have a second home with a mom, half siblings and a couple sets of grandparents too.
I’d say we definitely have a built in village.
I’d love to say it’s a friendly, well adjusted, harmonious village, but who am I kidding? However, that being said, I do believe for the most part, all three sets of parents work relatively well together.
I’ve seen sets of parents just be completely horrific towards each other and really it just destroys their kids.
Our current situation involves my boys with me for one week and then their dad for one week.
My daughter is stuck with us everyday. She doesn’t get to have two birthday parties or two Christmas’. (See, blended families have their advantages.)
One of Mike’s boys is with us Monday through Thursday, then with his mom Thursday night till Monday morning. And his other boy is with his mom the whole week, but with us every other weekend….for now. Starting in January they will be with us full time again. Yeah, it changes.
Blended families are tough. They’re not fair to the kids. In fact, spelling it all out, like I have, I wonder how it even works!
Thank God for His grace. Without it, this wouldn’t work. It’s one more way He brings me to my knees.
There are times when we don’t all agree with on their priorities. There are times when we’re all so angry at each other because we parent differently and there are times when we are so angry at the kids, because they know how to play us against one another.
We have a village. It may not be the best village, but I know that each adult involve takes a special interest in each one of our kids. That means something.
And when it is the most difficult, I have to remember that they are just doing their best, like I’m trying to do my best.